Peace Beyond Understanding

Not too long ago, I turned 30 years old. Leading up to this birthday, I spent a lot of time reflecting and remembering some of the best and worst moments of my life today. I came to the conclusion that life is pretty good right now. My wife and I are relatively healthy, we both have good jobs and a decent house to call a home. We get to spend time with our families regularly and from time to time, we get the privilege of being able to foster some children needing a safe loving place to live for a while. Life is good and I don't have anything to complain about. This reflection forced me to ask a question of myself, and I did not much like the answer. Am I at peace?

That may seem like a silly question to some, especially here in the United States. On the one hand, you could say that I am experiencing peace because I know where my next meal is coming from, I am not currently experiencing war all around me, and I can provide for my family. On the other hand, you might say I should not be experiencing peace because their is always more to accomplish, more experiences to have, more money to make, and more influence to have.

As I reflected back on the last thirty years of my life, I can only point to one moment where I felt complete peace of mind, and it came at the weirdest moment. In 2019, I was pastoring a small church in Cincinnati, Ohio that couldn't afford to pay me very much. I decided to become co-vocational and took a job working for a high school friend of mine as a teller at a local bank. One afternoon as we get were getting close to closing, we had a few people in line and so I called my next customer to my window. The young man approached and simply said he wanted to make a withdraw. When I asked him how much, he showed me a note on his phone that said he has a bomb in his backpack and he wanted $25,000. It took me a moment to realize that the unthinkable was happening to me, I was in the middle of a bank robbery.

At first, I was completely terrified, all of the blood rushed to my head and I was so disoriented, I had to have him show me the note again so I could remember how much he wanted! The craziest thing happened next, the fear subsided and a sense of calm came over me like I had never experienced before. I hit my panic button, processed the request through my machine, and was even able to talk my way out of trouble when one of my colleagues over reacted to the silent alarm. Long-story short, the young man got what he came for and none of my other co-workers of customers knew exactly what had taken place. As the events continued to unfold into the early evening, everyone from my manager to the corporate representatives showed up and were super concerned and worried. As for me, I began to reconcile with what had just happened. I went home, hugged my wife, and two days later I was back at work doing exactly the same thing I was doing when the whole incident unfolded.

It has been four years since that day, but I will never forget the sense of peace I had in that moment. As I reflect back, I realize now I was able to compose myself and handle the situation as I did. It is not because I am this cool, heroic guy who doesn't let anything get to him. The reason I experienced peace in that moment is because I was focused on one thing and one thing only, getting home to my family. That singular focus made my decision-making process extremely simple and provided a clarity and peace I had never experienced before.

I have begun applying this experience to my spiritual life and I think it stands true for all followers of Jesus. We spend a lot of time trying to focus on Jesus and something else. The book of James talks repeatedly about the struggles that come with this dual focus, this divided loyalty. Our call as believers is not to make peace with the circumstancing surrounding us each and every day. Rather, the peace comes from a singular focus on our savior and building his kingdom here on earth. After we surrender to that focus, our choices become easy and we can experience the peace that surpasses all understanding.