Ministering to Men in Small Churches!

                 I (Rev. Don Allen, Jr.) originally published this blog post in the fall of 2012. However, as I reflect on what I wrote back then I realize that all the principles still apply.

The skills of ministering to men are often misunderstood because we are working with a group of individuals that by virtue of their life are wrapped up in dozens of things at one time, generally running from one place to another, dealing with the stress of family responsibility, work, and taking care of a home.

The average church today is running between 100 and 200 people, and these are considered small to medium churches. As a Minister to Men (Men’s Ministry Director) it is important to understand that we cannot keep up with the Mega churches, nor should we want to. The men of your church have chosen your church for a reason, many like the small intimacy of the church, and the friendships they develop, while others attend small to medium churches due to living in small towns, or small local communities.  Whatever reason they chose to attend your church you have a unique opportunity to minister to them that big churches miss out on.

I have previously ministered to Men in three small to medium size churches, I have found it critical to choose two or three things at the most that we can do well and focus the men on these. I believe that there are 3 things that we need to do, to be effective in ministering to men in small to medium size churches. In my churches, we focus on fellowship, friendships, and fatherhood. If I can strengthen the men I minister to in these three areas I will have accomplished a great deal.

Let me explain my reasoning for these three points (challenges) in ministering to men.

• Fellowship … Helping the men to develop a personal time of fellowship with Christ, through their devotions, and Bible Study. We do this through various challenges as well as hosting Bible Studies at the church for the men to attend.

Can I share a thought here as a Baby Boomer, my idea of fellowship at 63 years old is not the same as my son who is 30 years old!

For the most part, I’m content with the Saturday morning breakfast, and fellowship, he is seeking a challenge like a basketball game, mission project, wilderness adventure, or any number of other activities that get them out of the church and moving. If it is our goal is to minister to the men of our church, we must think like all of them not simply our age group.

• Friendship … Helping me to strengthen their relationships with their Christian brothers within the church is essential to their Christian walk. Spending time with Godly men, learning, and maturing with them helps them grow.

•  Fatherhood … Helping them to learn to be the Godly fathers (dad) they should be in their family is a key point of the Christian walk. Any man can be a Biological father, but it takes a REAL MAN to be Father/Daddy.  This is a foundational point of not only the family but the church.

As a Minister to Men for over the past 22 years (for full disclosure, I’m currently not functioning as the Men’s leader in my local church. However, I remain active with them).  Please understand that my heart will always be to develop Men to serve Christ effectively.  I believe that it is important for you personally as a Minister to Men to have five foundation principles.

1.       Have a clear vision/direction of what you believe God wants you to accomplish. It is essential that you know the vision or direction you are going, without it you will get sidetracked and off on too many projects and miss the opportunity to do something very well. The one thing that I need to caution Men’s Leaders about in the small and medium churches is don’t try to do everything do what you can and do it very well. If you have an older group of men, the Saturday breakfast is a great idea, if you have a younger group of men, they need to have an activity that requires action. If you have both, look for a balance that will impact your men.

I have found that taking a survey of all the men of the church (I have done this on Sunday mornings during the morning worship service (I generally do it over three weeks to catch all the men in the church), give each man over 18 a sheet of paper with the following questions:

                DO NOT have them include their name:

1)      What is your age group? (Circle one)

a.       18 – 30

b.       31 – 40

c.       41 – 60

d.       60 and up

2)      What is your favorite movie of all time?

3)      What is your favorite type of food?

4)      What is your favorite activity?

5)      When is the most convenient time for you to meet up with other men @ church?

a.       Day and time.

 

These five questions give me a clear picture of what the men of my church like, and therefore also give me ideas of how to reach them, with activities, food, and most importantly the time that is good for them.

 

2.       Have a clear understanding of what you’re teaching the men, and what they need to learn: I think that it is essential to find good solid material to teach your men, and to challenge them to learn from. There are several great teaching tools available for Ministering to Men, I suggest that you check your denomination, and some other awesome Men’s ministries on the web.

 

https://maninthemirror.org/

https://ncmm.org/

 

3.       Have a personal Mentor … Have a personal Mentor and accountability partner to keep you grounded and focused. I encourage our men to develop mentorship roles with other men and continue to develop the relationship as the mentored individual moves on to mentor. In my mind, it works sort of like the father/son relationship. Father is the father to his son, but he is also the son of his father. The same applies to a Mentor who is the mentor to the mentor but is also the mentor to the mentor. This is referred to as discipleship, and believe me it is the foundation of your church.

 

4.       Have a good relationship with your pastor: I’m convinced that it is essential that as a Minister to Men, you have a good relationship with your pastor so that he is included in all the decisions that are being made by the Men’s Ministry. It is essential that you show respect to the pastor because you set the tone for what your men will do.

 

5.       Have a clear and personal testimony: Have a heart to share your faith with the men whom you come into contact with. Develop the skills to bring a man to Christ, if you don’t know these skills ask your pastor to help you, or your need to check out the resources online. I tell the men in our men’s ministry, “Share your story of what Christ did in your life, and back it up with scripture”

 

Friends, as you develop your skills as a Minister to Men, remember you have two people to impress and represent. (1) The Lord Himself, and (2) the men of your church.